I Slept Through the Model 3's Unveiling 

"PatBateman" (PatBateman) 04/01/2016 at 09:27 • Filed to: Edgy

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And, to be honest, I’m kind of glad I did. I don’t hate it, but there’s nothing exciting about it to me.

Also, it looks like a Mazda CX-3. Cool, but whatever.

Nibby > PatBateman 04/01/2016 at 09:29

3

I think it looks ugly.

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > PatBateman 04/01/2016 at 09:30

2

You mean isn’t shocking to you?

It’s not electrifying your interest?

*walks towards the exit*

yamahog > PatBateman 04/01/2016 at 09:30

2

I will always star Tesla hate.

PatBateman > Nibby 04/01/2016 at 09:31

0

It MIGHT grow on me, but, as of right now, meh.

BeaterGT > PatBateman 04/01/2016 at 09:31

1

It’s an appliance for mass consumption.

PatBateman > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 04/01/2016 at 09:32

0

I’m not getting a tingle.

I’m not thunder-struck.

PatBateman > yamahog 04/01/2016 at 09:32

0

I was unaware that you had a severe disdain for the automaker.

Thunderface > PatBateman 04/01/2016 at 09:33

1

It’s too much of a blob. I don’t like the directing Tesla’s styling is going. I liked the S, the X was okay, but now this...

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > PatBateman 04/01/2016 at 09:33

1

Not even a spark?

ESSSIX GmbH - Accountant/Wagon Thumper > PatBateman 04/01/2016 at 09:33

1

Looks a lot-tle** panamera to me. (but lets face it, not much is original anymore)

(** a lot-tle, its more than a little, but less then a lot** )

PatBateman > BeaterGT 04/01/2016 at 09:34

1

I think you just nailed it. The Model 3 is made for buyers who care more about gadgets than anything else.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > PatBateman 04/01/2016 at 09:34

1

I thought it was more of a “dwarf hunchbacked Porsche Cayenne in a Magritte painting”.

FSI - alcohol enthusiast with a car problem > PatBateman 04/01/2016 at 09:34

1

What is it even? A liftback? Sedan? Crossover? This and the interior confuse the hell out of me.

shop-teacher > PatBateman 04/01/2016 at 09:35

2

It looks decidedly “meh” to me. I don’t hate it, like I hate the Model X, but I sure don’t love it like I do the Model S. It may grow on me.

PatBateman > Thunderface 04/01/2016 at 09:36

1

Yeah, I feel like the Model Y might come out as an SUV-sized hatchback blob.

PatBateman > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 04/01/2016 at 09:36

0

The hair isn't even raising up on my arm.

PatBateman > ESSSIX GmbH - Accountant/Wagon Thumper 04/01/2016 at 09:37

0

It's a Panamera without the details, as if I had horrible vision and took off my glasses to stare at the Porsche. That's the Model 3.

PatBateman > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 04/01/2016 at 09:39

0

Pretty much. A Panamera with a grey clinging sheet on top of it. The car has shape, but no defining details.

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > PatBateman 04/01/2016 at 09:41

0

Not even a little static?

Im running out of puns...

PatBateman > FSI - alcohol enthusiast with a car problem 04/01/2016 at 09:41

0

It’s a five door hatchback with the new bigass iPad glued to the dashboard.

I think.

PatBateman > shop-teacher 04/01/2016 at 09:42

1

The design might grow on me as well, but I cannot see a future where I’m a decided fanboi.

Goose > PatBateman 04/01/2016 at 09:43

1

It just feels like it has a bloated fishbowl for the roof/glass like a 3/5 series GT. I’m sure it makes viability great, but it looks so bloated just like the X.

FSI - alcohol enthusiast with a car problem > PatBateman 04/01/2016 at 09:44

1

It looks angry and sad because of that but it can’t talk about it.

shop-teacher > PatBateman 04/01/2016 at 09:48

1

Yeah, that’s pretty much how I feel about it.

yamahog > PatBateman 04/01/2016 at 09:50

0

An irrational loathing mostly, but I truly hate the arrogance required to waltz into this industry thinking you can do everything sooooo much better than everyone else and then falling on your face with huge delays over and over and still having people lick your boots.

PatBateman > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 04/01/2016 at 09:51

1

No jolts, no volts, the amperage isn’t high.

I think we’ve hit all the big ones.

Tripper > PatBateman 04/01/2016 at 09:53

1

It looks like it had a bad lip injection

PatBateman > yamahog 04/01/2016 at 09:55

0

Yeah, I agree completely. They've been over promising and under delivering. I think Musk is using the Steve Jobs way of releasing info, though. Make people giddy Fanbois and they'll buy a crap-filled box from you for $2k.

PatBateman > Tripper 04/01/2016 at 09:57

1

I would say something more drastic happened (Deadpool in an alternate universe).

JR1 > PatBateman 04/01/2016 at 10:00

0

Wish the rear quarter slopped a little more agressivly. But frankly I'm excited. We have an electric car that finally looks like a good semi handsom sedan.

Master Cylinder > PatBateman 04/01/2016 at 10:11

0

Same here. I saw it was coming at like 11:30 my time and was like “nah I’ll just look at it at work in the morning.”

It’s not a bad looking car, and I really don’t mind the whole no-grille thing, but that vestigial grille shape on the front is awkward as hell. They should change that up to a smooth sloping nose a la Porsche.

Otherwise, it seems pretty cool. Assuming the build quality is OK, my wife will probably be shopping for one in a couple of years (which will probably be about when they finally roll off the line).

Takuro Spirit > PatBateman 04/01/2016 at 11:04

1

Same here. Glad I didn’t miss the cluster-less guppy.

Deputy Kovacs > PatBateman 04/04/2016 at 21:05

0

I think Tesla has purposely made sure that their designs return a neutral review. I mean, this car is the one car that needs to sell like mad—if they were to style it with some crazy Bangle-era type of impression, it would hard for them. Especially given the spotlight they’re under.

I like it. I placed an order. But uh, a little far down the line.

PatBateman > Deputy Kovacs 04/04/2016 at 21:11

0

I'd be happy with a little itty bitty black grill on the top of the front end. Just... Something.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > PatBateman 04/05/2016 at 19:50

1

I don’t like grill-less. It’s a turn-off. Also, I read somewhere that the instruments were all going to be on the center screen. For me, that’s a show stopper, even though I’m a huge fan of Tesla and Elon Musk, and I even own Tesla stock.

PatBateman > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 04/05/2016 at 19:55

0

I agree with your assessments. It looks like a dumb teen put a wrap over the front bumper. And is there a reason why I have to look at the center console to see how fast I'm going?!?!

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > PatBateman 04/05/2016 at 19:58

1

That nose is going to get scratched up and look like poop in short order. And that center console thing is one of the great examples of form over function. If they added a rudimentary HUD, I could live with the center console thing.

they-will-know-my-velocity > PatBateman 04/06/2016 at 18:00

0

I haven’t read this anywhere but I was hoping that you would have center console for gauges but for speed or whatever it would have holo HUD.